I recently had a session with my life coach that really helped me clean up some struggles I'd been having. And I am all about cleaning up, in all aspects of life.
I was stuck believing a thought. This thought was causing me to feel a lot of fear and anger about something I have no control over, but something I really, really wanted to have control over. I think all of my fellow perfectionists can all relate to this.
As I was explaining why my thought was true and justified, she threw this question out there and it stopped me in my tracks: "is it possible that you could be wrong?"
No! Definitely not ;)!
But, guess what? Thinking that I was right and that everyone else should agree with me was causing me some serious pain. I was only hurting myself thinking that I was right, which means I was the only one who could also decide to stop hurting myself. Trying to get the world to change isn't possible, but changing my thoughts is always possible.
Because thoughts are not facts. By definition, they are opinions and they are subjective and they are up for grabs.
But we want our thoughts to be true so we can feel in control in some way. So, we gather tons of evidence that they are true and then they appear to be very true to us.
If you are like me and are creating a problem for yourself by thinking some painful thought (even if it’s “true”), just know you are allowed to put it down.
To just walk away.
To distance yourself from it.
And despite what you might think, this is not being naïve or living in denial or being delusional. This is being an emotional adult and directing your brain toward what is useful and good and healthy.
I promise more happiness, compassion, and love come from cleaning up and intentionally choosing our thoughts. And that is exactly what the world needs more of right now.
Here is a list of some of my favorite thoughts, maybe one will help you:
• Everything happens exactly as it should
• Nothing has gone wrong here
• What others think about me is about them, and not about me
• Love is always an option
• What if this was all perfect?
• I am guided
• Worry serves no purpose